Diary Entry: May 20, 2011 (09:15 AM Manila Time)

I feel bad today - so freakin' bad that I can't anymore tell what I really feel. I mean I just can't believe that we're going to reach this point - a point where things aren't going well unexpectedly. I don't know if it is my fault but what I know right now is I feel no good at all. I want to freak and ask myself: Why do we have to reach this stage? Do I have to blame myself for letting them mock me and without telling them to stop? Or perhaps, they're insensitive enough to realize that sometimes they're going below the belt and their jokes are no longer funny -needless to say it hurts sometimes. I don't really know.

In the first place, they're the one who started the whole thing - they're mocking me because they want me to "walk-out" which will never happen  because self-pity and "walking-out" is not an option for me. No way! Second, I don't understand the logic behind "private messaging" someone and "me" being their topic and once conversation is over he's gonna copy-paste what had happened - specifically the "funny" part. Totally unacceptable. Pasting the "funny" part of the conversation to the whole group is not "funny" and it's below the belt - honestly - and it's hurting me.Which is why I suddenly felt bad - aggravated by those people who doesn't seem to care and too insensitive to realize what I might feel.

I told Boss about it and we talked with him and it made me feel a little bit better. But still, the pain is within me - it's painful because I consider him not only as work mate but a real friend. Or perhaps I'm just too blind too see who are my real friends? Or perhaps I'm to kind to just ignore what has been said and done. Or perhaps...I don't know!

But lesson has been learned and someone has to learn a lesson.  (Thanks Boss for the intervention.)This is for today guys. I just got-off from work and I and some rest and sleep.


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